You wish it away but are too terrified to let it go…. It hides underneath your smile, rests between your laugh, revels in your tears and taunts your every thought. When you’re heartbroken, it lies beneath everything that you do. He also discovered he killed his real mother and his adoptive father is a cheating husband who fathered a daughter with his mistress who is also Chris’s best friend Lisa. Crestfield Sr, Cal’s best friend Dexter is actually his half brother. I mean, can you blame him though? He just found out his real father is Mr. Chris remembers his dad’s betrayal and Cal realizes that his father never killed his real mother. Book 4 goes back to when Collin was outed.

Well, we thought Cal/Chris’s story was done after book 3, but of course Portia had other plans. I thought Portia’s last 3 books were full of drama and surprises but she really went all out in book four. If I Break is currently free to download to Kindle on Amazon US and Amazon UK.Wow… just Wow. At one point I thought Cal was part of the CIA, like some secret agent for the President and he was having his brain erased each night, hence why he couldn’t explain where he’d been to Lauren. I was really hoping for Cal’s secret life to be government related. Cal doesn’t exist but is in fact Chris’ alter personality. She finds out that Cal is not Cal at all but is Chris and lives in a small town with his wife.

She over hears Cal on the baby monitor on Caylen’s birthday and freaks out. So Cal finally leaves for good and Lauren discovers she is pregnant, manages to raise her baby, Caylen with the help of her friends and her Aunt Raven. There are a few twists in the book don’t read any further unless you want spoilers. Lauren is so easily manipulated by the physical side (the only side) of her relationship with the mysterious Cal that I want to shake her and say ‘ Get a grip woman‘.

I put grey in quotes because it seems that the author liked overusing the word, maybe a subliminal suggestion, jumping on the 50 Shades bandwagon? Hmm where do I start with this? If I Break by Portia Moore is about a small town girl working day in day out in a bar, has the best gal pals in the world and is swept off her feet by a strong ‘ grey‘ eyed dude who never shows his feelings.

If i break series by portia moore